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Original German Doner Kebab Do you doner?
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Original German Doner Kebab
58-87 Lothian Road,,
Edinburgh,
0131 228 8555

Out on the town with a 2am attack of the meatatarian munchies. Party animal Simon Walton does what most good Edinburgh citizens do, but finds somewhere brand new that doesn’t compromise on culinary correctness.

Buxom Bavarians bearing handfuls of frothy steins. Prancing Prussians with handlebar moustaches and pristine uniforms. England footballers missing penalty kicks. All these and many more German stereotypes are conspicuously missing at Original German Doner Kebab on Edinburgh’s hedonistic boulevard Lothian Road.

Germanys have vivaciously adopted this culinary culture, primarily brought to them by the Turkish workers who made the long trip from the Bosporus to Bremen and Berlin. Being German, they've reengineered the Saturday night staple into every evening vorsprung mit plenty of technic.

There's no mystery in the origins of the meaty morsels. Served in high-tech blankets of insulated wrappers that keep the waffly-good menu mainstays as hot as the fiery fries that are an optional extra. Everything is prepared in an open kitchen, safe behind a glass screen that keeps interactivity to a hyper-hygienic minimum, with an efficiency not experienced since the fall of the Berlin Wall. The sides of beef, turn theatrically in the radiator ovens with the languid serenity of a Brecht monologue. So succulent is the result, they could have been slow-braised since that momentous event in 1989. Diners wonder if that means the collapse of the DDR or the opening of the first GDK on Adenauerplatz. At around £15 for two, we left with top Deutsch marks and plenty of welcome Marks too.

Well-trained and attentive staff, and attention to detail that's forensic in its completeness. No lederhosen nor Unter den Linden, but basically your stereotypical German night out, right down to the BMW double-parked on the zebra crossing outside. 

With murals of Ku’damm, Koblenz and Köln cathedral, these captured realities leave doner diners in no doubt. The huge "From Berlin Since 1989” neon sign is a brash contrast to the discrete booths at the back of the labyrinth-like premises. Luckily my Biting partner is MD Gordon Ricketts of Edinburgh's teutonically technical Captured Realities. After sizing up the chicken version of this kebab2.0, he's sizing up the place for one of his 3D navigational interactive video walkthroughs.

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